My Dear BFH

As she sat silently in her chair
saying the rosary that only He could hear
she would become lost in this meditation for hours
occasionally breaking her focus with trivial conversation that sours
her union with the divine
holding the chalice for the congregation filled with wine
a sip of tea and for some she was Aunt Bea
to me she was the embodiment of a Christ-like figure that he would take from me
her sorrows and faith that never waivers
friends and family who'd arrive with chocolate favors

our hearts were broken on that June 30th morning
the spring fed waters drown away my family's mourning
her spirit emanating love and understanding it's hovering
over us until we can visualize the kingdom in which she now resides
my face starts to light up, it's invigorating, and what breaks forth is a smile
knowing that she's not still knocking at her sisters' and husbands door
no more darkness, sadness, and wondering
she sits as His orchestra is spewing rain and thunder
like flowers that bloom, this lady lives in Him and the rest of us. Thus,
the vacant seat will arrive when Bea is at the right hand and clutching all of us!

Polar Opposites

i've found you, no need for exasperation
have no fear and banish consternation
abandoning our goals, that my friend is deviation
to honor them is to stay purified and recognized
for the ultimate reality. A web of deceit would
lead to damnation! To lead with one's heart is
the Virtuous Soul. To lead with one's "ego" is ignorance!
To know that you are loved beyond measure
is assurance. And to run toward
this path is to pave for endurance....

A tornado of cells that spill out new life
and the morter bombs that blow the innocent to particles
garbled policy and confused people. a renewal of faith that forgives
better acceptance than most. perhaps possessing a
stronger will happen to stumble upon "us"
gun toting pirates with nothing to lose, fearless
renegades wreaking havoc in the open waters of the sea; that destroys
the innocence of that,
water which at one point cleansed our sins
such irony, such hypocrisy, such constriction
meanwhile, now traveling everywhere with a
fucking shopping cart. It's utter betrayal
for fighting for our liberty. take me by kite
so that I can avoid perilous plight.


I'm not willing to let the glimmering light of your
sight be, carried away. Sunglasses? That's reassuring
Temperament will be needed. The beginning was
paradise. Now we have to live with the
evils and disturbances unless we chase them away
and remain free. I suppose solitude
really is the only remedy for these monsters
and their burdens?

Random stream

What else could be said about passing stars
the wonderment and gaze and aimless nights in bars
rainy sidewalks and desolate night streets
freaks, unknown, slumbers, and the night air
like churned dust in a daylight wind, gone!

Vanishing people, places, and things
trees appeared that normally went unnoticed in
this spell, crazed, spaced, and incorrigible
it could have been me! It should have been!
And, why hadn't it been? A chiseled stone has
already been carved; in fact starved!

I'm a leaf and the current is not ready for me
the sun shall continue to burn my shoulders
I will still at times dance out of this body.
My breath will become effortless
the air, the moon, the stars, the eyes of the forest!
It is they who sustain me....

rock bottoms and rigid cliffs
shale, peat moss, and beaming green. Sparkling
glass reflections and budding trees. cherry blossoms
and you and me; our retreat, your monastery!
And now, my ascension from the cuts and lacerations

Wow! Thankfully the block of ice i've been chipping at, broke! An almost relentless plight for the search for something to sustain, and keep me afloat. I must admit, I was almost on the brink of retreat. Toeing the line of apathy as it were. Endless promises, and a trail of unresponsive recipients. The balance of the universe beckons the desperate to remain calm, help is on the way. Negative energy and positive energy certainly comes in waves. I liken it to plate techtonics. Each plate shifting and grinding against each other and the end result is an earthquake. At least this is my unscientific dummed down version. Perhaps, I'm both of these dimensions' truth? It was a long cycle which, at some point had to be shattered! Enough of this digression. We've certainly embraced these ideas in some form or another for way too long.

Currently, I'm reading Thomas Merton. Easily one of the more brilliant writers and spiritual minds, the western world has been spoiled with! He is very tranquil at times, and then surprisingly bitter. Then with sheer force he always returns back to center. He was very liberal for a monk in the 1960's. He would associate with all manner of people which, in my estimation is always the mark of genius. By that I mean, radicals, communists, socialists, conservatives, liberals, and many others from around the globe. The ability to recognize that monk or not, man or woman, each and everyone of us can indeed learn something from each moment, and each person. To me, that's comforting, and very realistic! It's frustrating when you look around in life, watching many people, blinded by the beaming light of ignorance!

My confidence is being rebuilt after yesterday's successes. Strata by strata we're refining and blowing away the dust of the negative breeze that came through and camped out, for way too long.

A quote from Merton's book, The Other Side of the Mountain. This was a response to LBJ and Vietnam. "Johnson says he isn't going to be the first President to lose a war. So a few more thousands of people have to die to save face for him (Merton, p. 65).... I thought this was a very witty reflection on a turbulent part of history and perhaps a failed Presidency!!